All I Wanted...
by Random1377
Summary: Just a (very) brief little humor one-shot.  Enjoy.


Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by Studio Gainax animation, not me. Should they (or anyone affiliated with them) request it, I will remove this story from the Web. Thank you.

All I Wanted…

By Random1377

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon in the Katsuragi/Souryu/Ikari apartment. Being as Monday was a school holiday, no one felt a particular urge to do anything work-like.

Misato had informed the two Children that she would be out with Kaji from one until, 'Sometime later,' and had left them some money for lunch, dinner, a movie rental, and enough to pay the month's utility bills, should she be gone that long.

'Sounds like quite an evening,' Asuka had pointed out dryly.

'Don't be bitter,' Misato had said, throwing on her flight jacket… and slinging a heavy-looking dufflebag over her shoulder, grunting slightly at the weight, 'Just… a little… date…'

'Your passport is slipping out,' Shinji had said helpfully.

Misato had hurried out without another word.

The two Children had lapsed into a comfortable silence, with Shinji sitting on the couch and reading a magazine (Introverts Monthly) and Asuka sprawled out on the floor, studying a textbook.

"You know what I want?" Shinji said thoughtfully, looking up from the article on 'Revolutionizing the world – or how to break your egg's shell in ten easy steps.'

"Me?" Asuka asked suddenly, looking up from her book with wide eyes, "You've finally realized that you want me to be yours?"

"Ummm…" Shinji blinked as the redhead rose to her knees, clutching his hand with hers.

"Oh, Shinji!" the Second Child gushed, "you don't know how happy this makes me!!"

Before he could reply, the girl's expression turned dark.

"Or maybe…" she yanked her hands away from his, "you want to tell me that you're seeing my sister!"

"You have a-"

"Don't interrupt!" Asuka snapped, her features now displaying full-blown rage, "You're sleeping with her, aren't you?!? LIAR!!" 

Shinji winced as the Second Child slapped him.

"Or maybe," Asuka went on, her voice becoming low and smoky, "you wanted to tell me that you were thinking about me in a more… personal manner?"

Shinji swallowed as she leaned up, her eyes half-lidded as her tongue ran over her lips. "A-Asuka…" he managed.

"Shut up and kiss me!" she demanded, grabbing his shoulders and pulling his lips to hers.

Before he had a chance to enjoy it, she pulled back, her face crumpling, "You want me to leave, don't you?" she sobbed, putting her face in her hands.

"N-no!" he exclaimed, confused, "Asuka, I-"

"Bastard!" the girl shrieked, slapping him again, "I can't believe you're toying with me like this!!"

Shinji just stared as the redhead picked up her book, keeping the title (Essentials of Acting, fifth edition) facing her, and stomped off to her room. "When you decide what you want, you know where to find me!" she sobbed.

In the ensuing silence, Shinji looked around, his gaze finally finding PenPen, who had watched the entire exchange with an oddly amused expression on his avian face.

The penguin shook his head as the Third Child quietly whispered,

"All I wanted was a cheese sandwich…"

The End

Author's notes: the idea for this little goofy short was actually just the final line, the rest kinda spiraled out from there. Poor Shinji, eh? Yeah, don't feel too sorry for him… he got slapped twice, but he got a kiss out of the deal. ^_^ I thought about making this part of one of my stories, but it didn't really fit any of them, I didn't think. Anyway, hope you liked it.

No pre-reader on this one – hell, it only took me like, 15 minutes to write, proof, and correct. If I can't get something this short right, I shouldn't be writing :P

One last note. I posted this on a message board, since I thought it was too short to put on fanfiction.net, but at Jeff Alan's recommendation, I'm puttin' it up… and he gets pre-read thanks, 'cause apparently – even as short as it was, I couldn't get it right… -_-

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com


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